Talk:Mass Effect: In the Deep Terminus

Davis, you need to remember to log in. Please get in the habit now, because once I take over, I intend to block anonymous edits in order to prevent vandalism. -- Gnostic 19:15, November 18, 2011 (UTC)

moves like jager 22 is my lil brother i am 100 % ok with him making edits.

Just making sure. Also, is there a city called "Mantis"? Alliance Navy cruisers are always named after cities... -- Gnostic 05:09, November 22, 2011 (UTC)

Couple of notes
A couple of notes, guys: -- Gnostic 06:42, November 23, 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) Y'all need to decide if this is an article or a fanfic. It can't be both, and each has a different set of stylistic requirements.
 * 2) As stated before, all Alliance cruisers are named for cities. This was why I previously changed the SSV Mantis into the SSV Memphis (and why the SSV Polar J became the SSV Polaris.)
 * 3) Do you guys want a custom portrait for Jennifer Manuel Johnson? I could make one for you.

Mantis
the name Mantis i named it after a bug sorry i didn't know do i have to change it ?

and yes a picture would be niceJosh Davis 02:20, November 29, 2011 (UTC)Josh -Nov 28.


 * Well, you could reclassify the Mantis as an MSV (Merchant Space Vessel), in which case the rules regarding names no longer applies, but that would also mean that Johnson would have to be a mercenary or private security contractor. Otherwise, just rename it the SSV Memphis (or whatever you like, as long as it's named after a city.)


 * That aside, the article also reads too much like a story. Character articles are supposed to be more objective, and should describe character's history in as few details as possible. There should also be a lot less dialogue. If you like, I could go ahead and split the article up, moving the content that does not conform to the Manual of Style into a story, but you'd need to give me a title for the story.


 * As for the portrait, just give me a basic outline of what JMJ looks like, and I'll have something ready for you by the end of the week. -- Gnostic 05:25, November 29, 2011 (UTC)

Rank
It is impossible for her to be a Gunnery Sergeant and be a commander of a ship. Reasons and a few other problems being: Fix these or I will have an admin namespace it. You have three days. And Gnostic, if you think I'm overstepping my bounds, please say so. Only the faithless will perish, but those without cannot be punished. 06:54, December 11, 2011 (UTC)
 * 1) To be a commander of a ship, one must be part of the Navy. Gunnery Sergeants are not at all a Naval rank, the best equivalent being a Chief Petty Officer.
 * 2) To be a commanding officer of a ship, you must be a Lieutenant or higher, the most likely case she'd be a Captain or Commander, and possibly a Lieutenant Commander.
 * 3) Her boyfriend would never be with her, or be allowed to be around her, or even be in a relationship with her. It's against Naval Law and protocol. There are ways around this, like secrecy; But it's not like the Normandy in Mass Effect and Mass Effect 2, which is not just a part of the Navy.
 * 4) Either convert this into a story, or correctly edit it into a article.
 * 5) Grammar, paragraphing, spelling, etc are all in need of dire improvement.


 * These criticisms are all legitimate, and I've already mentioned some of them previously. I'd give Josh and his brother a week to fix them, though; we're coming up on finals week for most schools, so they might be busy. -- Gnostic 04:27, December 12, 2011 (UTC)


 * This reminds me, we need templates for Non-Canon Friendliness, Bad Grammar, Humor Articles, etc. We probably already have a few, but we definitively need more, especially since we seem to be growing at least a little.--Only the faithless will perish, but those without cannot be punished. 05:12, December 12, 2011 (UTC)

Good so far
The only problem aside grammar is that there is no such thing as Staff Liuetenant. The reason Staff Lieutenant is marked as a rank in the Codex is because BioWare made up the ranks, but a more accurate rank system is from the United Sates Navy, or possibly the Royal Navy (most likely the US, as in the Royal Navy, sergeant is a class in all British branches, which is prone to confusion). So lieutenant is the best rank for your character.

Either way is fine, it's just using today's system is much better, as BioWare has no idea what they're doing in ranking, because if they did, they'd realize that pay grade in a military would suffer with such a little amount of infantry ranks. - Only the faithless will perish, but those without cannot be punished. 23:25, December 12, 2011 (UTC)


 * Zealot, you're assuming that BioWare intended the Alliance Navy to be functional. I would argue that of course it's a mess - the Alliance tried to combine all the diffferent military forces in such a way that no single nation or state would dominate the command. Obviously, the ranking system would be fucked up under the circumstances. -- Gnostic 02:36, December 22, 2011 (UTC)
 * The playing card of "Developer Superiority" strikes again. Oh well, Gnostic, you have corrected me in what is kind of a cheap move but still, it is correct. - Only the faithless will perish, but those without cannot be punished. 09:38, December 29, 2011 (UTC)