Anachronisms, edits, and corrections[]
Your article states that Dabaleta was born on Shanxi in 2150 CE, but humanity did not even have any extrasolar colonies until 2152 CE, and Shanxi was probably not established until at least 2154. -- Gnostic 15:05, January 7, 2011 (UTC)
- Thank you for the information and for the cleanup help. I was and still am damn terrible at the grammar, punctuation, so on. Now onto pondering. Luna it is. Foxtrot12 19:52, January 7, 2011 (UTC)
Another anachronism I noticed is that you mention the use of the M-3 Predator, M-92 Mantis, and the M-8 Avenger during the Skyllian Blitz, but those guns all use thermal-clip technology, which was a geth invention. The organic weapons manufacturers did not gain access to thermal-clip technology until after 2183 CE. -- Gnostic 04:50, January 8, 2011 (UTC)
- Bioware made a lot of errors with the thermal clip being so recently invented and then later contradicting it in minor cases. But this being one of my earlier articles which were all not to well and my canonical understanding on things minor does not surprise me. Makes me kind of want to delete all of them at times and start over but to fix this will take a day or two to rethink weaponry and dig through the MEW and review those giant ME inventories of weapons, man I hated those. Foxtrot12 05:51, January 8, 2011 (UTC)
- For the weapons, it's much easier if you don't get so specific about make and model. Just say "sniper rifle" or "pistol", or "semi-automatic". Of course, there are still other issues. I was wondering if I could make some more... drastic changes? One major problem I see with the article is that you've tried to place Maria in the middle of the major events of ME1 and ME2, but to do this, you've got her changing her alliances every other second, and in order to justify those changes in alliance, you've got entities like the Shadow Broker and Cerberus doing stuff that doesn't quite make sense from their point of view (for instance, why would Cerberus kill a bunch of N7s, when they could just recruit them? And why would the Shadow Broker need to blackmail the Alliance and capture a soldier? He's the freakin' Shadow Broker. There are hundreds of more subtle ways by which he could acquire whatever information Maria has.) -- Gnostic 02:25, January 10, 2011 (UTC)
- I thank you for the council. You are a helpful person. Throwing her everywhere seemed to make an interesting character. As for some errors pointed out, N7 execution. Well not everything gets explained and this was made a while back when I was not a very good writer. For the broker, the intent was he knew the information already but Maria could give Alliance brass the true identity of the attackers, which he did not approve of. But as for changes, you can have the article if you like, I cannot really think up the plan for the finish so yeah, give it your best shot. By chance would you be interested in my new Alliance Daily News project which is the fan made Cerberus Daily News? Currently every day save for the weekend is open to write. I have a blog with more details for more detail. Foxtrot12 03:10, January 10, 2011 (UTC)
- Sounds like the Shadow Broker thing just needed to be explained a bit better, then.
- I've begun adding a section in between Dabaleta killing Cody and her fleeing to Noveria. Don't worry, Dabaleta still makes it to Noveria. Just figured we could throw in an extra fight to make her departure more complicated... -- Gnostic 06:56, January 10, 2011 (UTC)
- I like it, good idea always good. I managed to improve a few things, gave a more detailed explanation on some things, King's execution, ect. Fixed the infobox, I never stated and probably should have that she was meant to be of caucasion south african descent. Sorry I failed to state that but fixed now, all better. Foxtrot12 22:33, January 10, 2011 (UTC)